Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Why am I freaking out?

Everything has gone smoothly, there have been no signs of anything going wrong but why oh why do I keep wondering about things such as stillbirths and miscarriages...what is going on with me? Why do I even make myself look things like this up?

From Wikipedia:
Stillbirth is a relatively common, but often random, occurrence. The mean stillbirth rate in the United States is approximately 1 in 115 births, which is roughly 26,000 stillbirths each year, or on an average one every 20 minutes.

7 comments:

daysgoby said...

It's actually pretty normal for pregnant women to have weird thoughts (even of the dead-baby variety) I went through months of it - one night I plotted out how'd we'd be so sad from losing our baby that we'd sell the house and move somewhere warmer, somewhere quiet that we could cling to each other and let the waves soothe us....how my mother would cry and how I'd be brave....
it was a very long and detailed thought. (I didn't sleep so well the last few months.)

Hang on, honey.

Anonymous said...

thoughts, dreams and stress are normal, put all family thoughts behind you. Ya'll are going to be GREAT moms and this will work out and then you will be so supportive for the next time and understanding that its okay. Love ya, jojo

Anonymous said...

Stop looking things up! But it is totally normal. It's the hormones! I don't know about pre-partum depression but man I know about the post. Be glad you are getting it over with now so that afterwards you can just bask in the glow of your little baby girl.

Jen said...

oh hell yes - it's totally normal. i was convinced from day one that something terrible was going to happen with the pregnancy and then, once she came out fine, i was convinced that something was wrong with her that they couldn't see...or that she would be hurt in some way that i couldn't predict or avert.

i remember believing so truly that i would have a miscarriage and then later a stillborn baby that i imagined what we would have to do, much like the first commenter. i imagined having mandy call all of our friends, who would come and take all the baby furniture out of our house, what we would do with all the baby clothes, the whole thing.

it's okay to be scared and worry but you just don't have any control of things other than how you take care of yourself. AND the vast majority of pregnancies are okay and uneventful...chances are, yours will be too. :)

Katie said...

I agree with the other comments. And am actually a little relieved that other people had these same thoughts and mental plans on what would happen if something went wrong. I went through the same thing (and still worry CONSTANTLY about stuff happening to the baby -today's worry was that the bookshelf would fall on him- could I pull him out of the way in time, or should I just throw myself on him if I see it falling, should I call my husband or 911 first if I think I'm hurt. If the ambulance gets there before Jay does, who will be with the baby...etc.)

No joke. But really its normal to have these thoughts (I hope) and even more normal to stress about everything. I think part of it is that you are trying to prepare yourself in case something does go wrong so that you are not blindsighted. If I started getting to worried or depressed, I MADE myself focus on something completely non-pregnancy related, or at least something positive to try to stop obsessing.

But if you ever feel like something could be wrong- just call your doctor. Even if it's nothing, getting a professional to tell you there's nothing to worry about is always a relief. And you could always get an extra ultrasound thrown in there!

Jen said...

totally agree about calling the doctor, katie. it does really help to hear a professional's opinion. plus, they're so used to getting calls from obsessive pregnant women, they don't even blink an eye. the nurses i talked to in my office were very very comforting even though i'm sure they knew everything was okay.

Swistle said...

Oh so sad! I think about those things, too, when I'm expecting. I also worry about birth defects. I finally brought up the subject with my OB even though I felt so dumb doing it, and he said a LOT of pregnant women worry about it.