Sunday, December 07, 2008

Walmart

Since Amelia was laid off we've been doing some shopping at Walmart completely and totally against our best judgement. We both had taken the vow to never shop there but when not one single person in your household has a job, vows tend to be bent a bit.

One thing that I do love about Walmart is the people who shop there, if you are easily offended please stop reading here so that you can hold on to your respect for me.

It is especially pleasing for me when I walk into Walmart because I virtually turn into Gisele Bundchen wearing the latest and greatest from Victoria's Secret. The men who shop there with there wives, who have about as many teeth as baby G, love me. They fawn over me, so rarely are they greeted by more than two teeth and someone who can actually button her jeans without the use of a rubber band. My clothes are clean and it is likely that I have actually showered on the said day of the shopping trip. I'm certain that my hair smelling of fresh fruit is quite a treat over the alluring scent of day old cigarette smoke. The men there make me feel great, they give me second and even third looks. They hold the door for me, they hand me things from the tall shelves that I cannot reach, they even allow themselves to be caught (and punched) by their girlfriends/wives while looking at me.

Is it terrible of me to bask in this glory? I think not, oh why oh why can't everyday be Walmart day?

3 comments:

SelimaCat said...

I'm laughing my you-know-what over this!

Amy Jo said...

I go to Walmart about 2 times a year. The cashiers are so freakin' nice. I don't get it. I leave the store thinking about how nice everyone is. Do Walmart employees know something I don't know?

Katie said...

I'm so glad someone put a voice to the superiority we feel whenever we go there. As bad as things may be, at least my kid isn't running around walmart in nothing but a diaper.